Easier Said Than Done
by HellHadNoFurryAnimalsSoIReturn
Summary: My first Fanfic EVER so go easy on me. story about Gail and holly.takes place one month after the shooting and thanks for the support & reviews!
1. Someday,We Will

One month after the shooting…

Gail walked into the parade room dragging her head she had a very long night and she was very much aware to the fact that she was going to have a pretty shitty day up ahead. The night before she had gotten extremely intoxicated with Chris and Dov at the penny, Gail went straight to her bed laying down hoping to catch some Zz's before her shift in the morning. But sleep went out the window as thoughts about holly started to creep in. She tossed and turned as she wondered what Holly was doing at this very moment and if she was thinking about her too. She longed for the moment she would have to have a completely awkward run in with her by accident. With about four weeks of radio silence, from Gail's end of course, she was getting fed up with herself for not taking the actions to go see her. She knew she wanted to see her but it was better if she kept her distance.

_'Better for who'_ she thought as she shuffled up and rested on her head on her headboard She picked up her phone off of her nightstand and scrolled through her contacts, finding Holly's name that she entered the day that they had met in the middle of the woods. She chuckled at the memory of the beginning of their Friendship. She stared blankly at the four letter word for over 10 minutes 'Nerd'.

_'Just call her Gail you can do this, you are a Peck, you are not a coward, just do it'_ She said trying to give herself a pep talk. She had wanted to call Holly for a while now but just didn't have the courage to do so. She made countless excuses telling herself _'she was way too busy and she didn't have the time to have a full conversation to explain why she's been so scarce lately'_

She realized she has been really busy from all the double shifts she's been taking since Chloe and Sam were out still on medical leave.15 had been very understaffed after the shooting. Chloe still hadn't woken up yet and the clot was still there along with her husband, who she had failed to mention. Gail was still pissed at her for that. Dov was still devastated. He still waited around and went to the hospital every day but Wes still wouldn't let anyone from 15 in to see her including Frank. Every update they had heard had been through a friend, of a friend, friend who worked at the hospital's cafeteria, who eavesdropped on some of the nurses conversations while bringing lunch to some of the patients. On the other hand Sam was recovering fine and was only on medical leave for another week or so after he successfully completed his physical therapy.

Gail pressed the home button on her phone repeatedly until she could no longer see Holly's contact info on her screen anymore. She put her phone back on the nightstand and laid on her side and continued to think about Holly. _'Coward'_, she thought to herself as she rolled over and tried to push the thoughts of a certain brunette out of her mind.

* * *

><p><strong>The next night….<strong>

Holly went over her report repeatedly checking had wanted to be extremely thorough for this particular case because it was a celebrity. Well sort of, if you count the Mayor of Toronto three times removed a celebrity.

The brunette looked at her flashing phone next to her, calling her to draw her attention away from her report and to her now obnoxiously loud beeping phone. She didn't recognize the number that appeared before her but shrugged and answered it anyways.

_" Speaking"_

_"Hi, is this Holly?_" she heard the voice with a hint of confusion.

_"Yes, may I ask whose calling"?_ She asked ready to hang up if it's a telemarketer are anyone asking her to do more work She had what has been really a long month and a long day she was ready to sleep for at least 15 hours straight.

"_Hi this is Chelsea, do you remember me we went out about a month ago and we were supposed to get together again but you had to cancel so we rescheduled for tonight."_

_"Oh yeah I remember"_ she totally forgot. She really did not want to go out with this girl are anyone else for that matter anytime soon. Truth is she was still not completely over the Gail experience. 'Uh Gail, soft lips, pale skin, blonde hair, blue eyes that would turn water into snow and then evaporate it, Gail'

_"Tonight at the Penny at 9 right?"_ she tripped over her words as she pushed the thought of Gail out of her mind, and she was not entirely sure she had the right time.

_'Please cancel, please cancel'_ she wished as Chelsea continued to talk

_'Alright see you there'_ she heard her say before the line went dead.

_"Fuck"_ Holly mumbled as she put her phone back on the steel sheet-ed table. The only words she wanted to hear right now was the words_ 'get together'_ and '_cancel'_ in the same sentence. She took off her lab coat and started to mentally prepare herself for the horribly awesome night she was about to have with this hot chick who was really into her and was excited to see her. But the only hot chick who she wished wanted to spend time with her and wished was into her was Gail. _'But Gail's out of the picture now you have to move on_' she thought to herself.

She got into her car and drove the short distance to the penny. On her way there she glanced at the Police Station hoping to maybe see the blonde standing outside or something. It was only wishful thinking because two-thirds of the lot was empty and there was not an officer in sight.

_'God please get me out of this'_ she pleaded as she stepped out of her car and headed to the front door of the bar wishing maybe, just maybe she would be lucky enough to not run into Gail or anyone she knew was a friend of hers. Only wishful thinking of course because after all this was a bar right across from a police station and it was only 9' o'clock.

* * *

><p>1 hour before...<p>

Gail was beaten to a pulp she was so tired every suspect she came in contact with must have had a whole package of five hour energy and several monsters because all five of them were runners. Combined she had ran over 6 football fields doing suicides that is.

_"Are you heading to the penny tonight"_ Traci asked her as she put on her jacket.

_"No, I think I'm just gonna go home and sleep "_she responded with a weary voice. She was ready to pass out right then and there.

_"Oh, ok but Gail"_

_"Yeah"_Gail turned around to see Traci closing her locker and heading towards the door.

_"Just call her okay_." Traci gave her a soft smile as she exited the room.

Gail huffed in frustration as she picked up her phone. She considered it for a second but decided against it.

_"She's probably busy"_ thinking about the mass grave they just found earlier in the day. There were 10 people in it, including a mayor who went missing over 10 years ago. She stuffed her phone into her jacket pocket and locked her locker. She walked outside past the penny and headed towards her apartment that she shared with Dov and Chris.

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><p>Back at the Penny….<p>

_'Please don't be here, please don't be here'_ she wished as she scanned the dim lighted bar looking for her date. '_Maybe she'll cancel last minute'_ she thought as she pulled out her phone looking for a message or a missed call, or at least something that will get her out of this date.

She headed to the crowded bar and flagged the bartender down for a very strong drink.

_"Hey"_ the soft voice behind her say .Holly closed her eyes for a second as she prepared herself to turn around

_"Hey"_she said as she let go of the breath she didn't realize she was holding once she saw who was standing smiling a cheese smile behind her. 'Thank god, it's only Traci.' She remembered meeting her the night of the shooting.

_"Long time no see yeah."_Traci said wrapping her long limbs around Holly's back. The brunette took the opportunity to scan the back of the bar where all of Gail's friends sit. Some of them looked familiar but a lot of them she had never seen before. But that was okay because Gail was not in the crowd. _'Dodged a bullet there'_ she thought as Traci released her from the hug.

_"Yeah, I've been very busy lately with all the dead people popping up_" Holly replied as she scanned the bar one more time double checking to make sure there was in fact no Gail.

_"Yeah maybe we should go out for drinks or something sometime"_

_"Yeah maybe"_ holly said as she looked over her shoulder to see her date enter the bar.

_"Did Gail call you?"_ Traci asked. Holly pretended that she didn't hear the question all the while analyzing it in her head. 'Wait was Gail going to call me? Is she supposed to call me? Maybe I should go home and wait for her to call me'

_'You sound so desperate right now'_ she thought as she set her drink down on the bar.

_"I've gotta go see you later Traci"_ she stated as she brushed the side of her arm and walked away. Traci shook her head as the departing brunette walked towards the woman who just entered and watch her hug her and guide her to a booth. Traci walked towards a laughing Chris, Steve, dov, and Oliver who were telling funny stories from their first year on the job while waiting for their drinks.

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><p><strong>Gail<strong>

Was walking in the cold sifting snow. Gail didn't mind the snow. She thought the snow gave her a sense of clarity. As she rounded the corner towards her house she reached for her keys that were supposed to be inside her pocket. She reached in to find her pockets empty.

_"Fuck"_ the blonde yelled at everyone but yet at no one at all. She considered waiting on the front porch until Chris or Dov came home. But she remembered that they were probably going to be at the penny late. And even though she loved the snow she was starting to get extremely cold as the wind picked up.

_"Dammit dammit dammit"_she muttered repeatedly as she headed back to the station to regain possession of her keys hoping that they wouldn't ask her to cover for someone once she was there.

Gail entered the station got her keys and got the hell out of there. Only being distracted once as someone called out her name. The blonde didn't even lift her head to so who it was only yelling out a quick _"No"_ before scurrying off into the locker room.

Gail exited the police station and headed towards the penny. She stopped in her tracks when she spotted holly's car in the parking lot.


	2. Can I Have One Second Of Your Time

….

_'Oh My God, Oh My God Oh, My God'_ Gail closed and opened her hands repeatedly. The stinky panic sweat started and Gail started to pace back and forth on the sidewalk.

She walk towards the penny and back towards the sidewalk and continued like she someone was playing tug of war with her limbs until eventually a car came and she had to make a rash decision. Gail ran towards the parking lot and sat on the curb and put her head between her legs.

_"You can do this, just go in there, don't stare, take a drink, say you're sorry, 'kiss her', do something"_ Gail was way too busy hyperventilating and talking to herself she didn't realize someone was walking up behind her.

_'My ass is freez.. .' "Holy shit, what the fuck"_Gail jumped from the hand that touched her shoulder.

_"Whoa, Peck, easy there,"_ Oliver yelled as he backed into his car.

_"Why would you walk up on someone like that, I could have killed you are something"_

_"Oh please, Like you could kill me"_ Oliver replied with a smirk.

_"Yeah, haven't you heard, I've got mad ninja skills_" Gail laughed as she jumped around in her boxing stance taking swipes in the air.

_"Yeah right, anyways, I'm heading out. Celery wants me to go to one of her friend's witchy doohickey thingamajiggers, so yeah see you tomorrow that are if you don't freeze to death._" Oliver waved to her as he walked to his car.

_"Oh yeah_"he called out.

_"What?"_

_"Holly's in their, you should go talk to her instead of sitting out here in 10 degree weather talking to yourself"_ and with that Oliver got in his car and drove off.

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><p>Holly was miserable on her date. She wanted to go home and snuggle with her blanket on the couch while watching a golden girl's marathon and finish the last report that she took time away from to go on this date.<p>

_"So I tripped and…"_Holly watched Chelsea's lips moving but wasn't paying attention to a word she was saying. On occasion holly would laugh on cue to appear like she was listening but in reality she was thinking about Gail the whole time. Chelsea excused herself and walked off to the restroom. Holly took the opportunity to go get another drink.

Gail walked into the penny, her hands were shaking. 'What the hell is wrong with me' She scanned the bar and quickly found her friends. The penny was relatively crowded but not completely full. The bar on the other hand was packed with impatient customers trying to order drinks. 'Where is she?' Gail questioned as she headed towards Traci and Steve.

_"Hey"_

_"Hey, I thought you were going home"_ Gail collected Traci's and Steve's drinks and downed them all.

_"Uh"_

_"Sorry, needed some liquid courage"_ Gail slammed the glasses back on the table, set her jacket down, and walked off.

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><p>Gail splashed her face with cold water. She looked up and saw her reflection staring back at her. She shook her head and braced herself against the sink. Gail could hear someone moving in one of the stall but she didn't care enough to pay any attention to them. <em>'You got this, just go find her, tell her you.. .'<em>

_"So my date is a dud_" A girl said as she walked out of the stall on her phone. Gail shuffled and stood up straight and started fixing her hair in the mirror.

_"Yeah he's totally staring at other girls as there walking by"_ Gail chuckles silently as she eavesdrops in on the other girls phone call. "_You know when a guy looks back before a girl passes to make it seem like he can't help but check out her ass"_The girl pauses and begins to wash her hands. Just then another girl emerges from the further stall.

_"It's pathetic that's what it is"_ Gail glances at the girl as she heads over to the sink and starts toying with the broken soap dispenser. _'Wait do I know her_' Gail shifts uncomfortably as she wracks her brain trying to figure out where she has seen her before.

The memory hits her like a 1000 pound wrecking ball '_Holly's on a date'_ which everyone failed to mention.

She tenses up and steals quick glances in the girl's direction. _"Fuck him I'm leaving"_ the girl says through her cell phone as she exits the bathroom leaving Gail alone with holly's date.

_"I'm sorry, can I help you?"_ Chelsea says frowning at Gail with a confused face. She had been caught glancing long enough for it to be considered borderline stocking_. 'Oh shit, play it cool'_

_"No I'm sorry I'm just….blah"_ Gail shoots her an awkward smile and speed walks out the bathroom._ 'Awkward turtle'_

Gail takes Traci's replaced drink and picks up Steve and downs that one too.

_"Ok seriously, you owe us drinks"_ Steve demands as Gail picks up her jacket and walks off towards the illuminating exit sign.

_"Next time"_ Gail shouts as she walks backwards as she starts putting her arm in one of the holes.

She turns around …

_"What the fuck"_The sound of glass cups breaking on impact when they reach the floor along with the liquor that didn't soak into Gail's cloths.

_"You're the asshole that wasn't paying attention"_ the woman bends down to pick up the objects up off the floor including her glasses. _"Watch where you're going next time"_

Gail began to mumble profanity under her breath as she tried squeezing the alcohol out of her shirt and wiping her face. She didn't even take the time to look at who she ran into. She knew she had an incubated hate for whoever it was already. _"What do you mean me, you should…"_All the air in Gail's lungs was vacuumed out as she did a double take between her shirt and towards the person who was scanning the floor for broken glass.

Holly stood up and began dusting off her pants legs, focusing on them as she tried to get it to stop sticking to her skin.

When she looked up the person who she ran into had vanished into thin air. She could have sworn she heard Gail's voice. Holly searched around until she saw her date coming from the restroom.

_"Hey"_

_"Hey"_

_"Are you ok?"_

_"Yeah someone ran into me and I spilled my drink on just gonna go clean up really quick."_

_"Alright, I'll be out here"_

_"I wish you wouldn't"_ holly mumbled.

_"What?"_

_"Um, nothing"_ holly replied before walking away towards the bathroom waving to Traci and Steve, who witnesses the whole altercation.

* * *

><p>Gail ran into the bathroom but then she had a sudden realization that the first place anyone who just got a drink spilled on them would go to… '<em>Fuck my life' she<em> went to the farthest stall and stood on the toilet hoping holly would be in the 1% who wouldn't go to the restroom.

The door creaked open and holly entered the bathroom and started talking incoherently. Gail braced herself between the stall and the wall trying not to slip into the toilet because that would be gross. They sound of her foot falling into the toilet and curse words echoed throughout the restroom.

_"Are you alright?"_ Holly questioned as she walked towards the stall.

_'Busted'_ Gail thought as she hopped off the toilet and hesitantly unlocked the stall door. She stepped out of the square box and into holly's line of vision.

_"Hey"_

_"Hey"_

_"Hey"_Gail smiled nervously.

_"You said that already"_

_"Yeah well, you know it sounded familiar"_ Gail chuckled as she braced herself on the side panel.

_"Yeah well I was just um"_ Gail said as she shifted her weight._ "I was just checking the light bulb"_ she pointed to it.

_To make sure it"_ She felt a little fainty.

_"Was the right voltage …. You know save the planet and all"_ She stumbled over her words a bit, unsure of what to say.

Holly tilted her head and smiled at Gail.

_"Right"_

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><p><em><strong>Authors Note<strong>_

_**Thanks for the reviews and follows. Reviews and ideas are appreciated too. Thanks for reading!**_


	3. Everybody's Singing

**Please,Don't Forget to review!**

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><p>…<p>

_"So that's what you're gonna go with._" Holly said not being fooled by Gail's obvious lie. She could tell she was nervous by the way she tapped her fingers on the side panel of the stall and how she was sending California its next earthquake with her rapid shaking.

_'What is wrong with you'_ Gail thought as she looked down at her soaked foot and made a face as she started to feel the water soak in to her socks. She knew she shouldn't lie but she couldn't help stupid would she sound if she told holly the truth about how she dumped her drink on her and ran into the bathroom to hide.

_"Yep" 'just keep digging'_ she thought as she dug a whole to china.

Holly took the silence in between them to examine Gail. She looked her up and down from her brown stained shirt to her toilet soaked foot. She looked like a wreck, her eyes droopy and tired. Her body language screamed fear and desperation.

_"You might not happen to be, by chance, the asshole that ran into me?"_ She was pretty sure Gail was said asshole but she needed a way to start a conversation to ease the uncomfortable tension between them. After all they hadn't seen each other in a month.

_"Yeah I might be that asshole... in more than one way"_ Gail looked her in the eyes for the second time since seeing her. Holly had the sparkle in her eye that Gail loved, it gave her hope, and the smile she was forcing back made her die on the inside from the burning sensation she felt in her chest. The sensation she only got when she thought about holly.

_"look Holly I'm-"_ Gail's five page speech on how sorry she was and why holly should take her back was cut short as the door creaked opened followed by Chelsea's suddenly abrupt entrance. Holly turned and took a stepped toward the paper towel dispenser hoping her and Gail's encounter would look completely innocent. '_I Wish I had My Gun Right Now'_ Gail thought as she took a step towards holly trying to secure her attention that she had lost from Chelsea's presence.

_"Hey Holly, ready to go?"_ Chelsea said as she eyed Gail. Holly realized that she had been in the bathroom longer than she thought. Her eyes shifted frantically between Chelsea and Gail, who was now officially invading her personal space and three steps to many past innocent friends talking to each other. "_Can you give us a minute"_ Gail's tone was filled with frustration with a hint of anger as she put her hand up signaling for Chelsea to go away.

_"Gail I-"_Holly was torn between her date and Gail. She didn't understand _'why here why now'_ Gail had a whole month to tell her how she felt. She started to get angry at the very thought of it. _'Why is she so fucking adorable, fuck I mean difficult? Man I hate when that happens.'_

_"Holly I just have to say-"_

_"I have to go_" Holly turned away. Her eyes were crystallizing. She wanted to cry and hug Gail and tell her that everything was okay. But everything is not that easy, it never will be. If Gail wanted her she would have to show her how bad, after all actions speak louder than words. The brunette just kept repeating 'walk away, walk away' in her head until she believed that that was the thing she really wanted to do.

_"Holly wait!"_ she yelled as the brown door closed on her hopes. She stood there, motionless, her feet cemented to the ground. '_What just happened'?_ The lump in her throat grew as tears started form and fall like raindrops from her eyes. She wiped them away trying desperately to regain her composure.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Five minutes later.<strong>_

Gail walked back out of the restroom and back over to Steve and Traci. This time he willingly handed her his drink knowing things hadn't gone so well with holly. _"How'd it go?_ "He wasn't really sure on why he was asking he could tell by the way holly stormed out of here crying with her date.

_"Don't ask_" she said as she swallowed the drink Steve gave her and took the one that Traci was extending out to her.

_"Gail I-"_

_"I said ' . . "_ Steve gave her a sympathetic smile. He felt bad for his sister and how she was so unlucky when it comes to love.

_"How about I buy you another round_" He was sure the only thing Gail wanted to do right now was get epically drunk off her ass.

_"No I think I'm just gonna go home_" Not even alcohol could help the way she was feeling right now.

_"Are you alright?"_He questioned genuinely worried about Gail's well-being, it was the first time he's seen Gail willingly deny a drink. Even when her and Nick broke up she didn't act like this.

_"Yeah I'm fine"_ She replied fighting back the tears that were about to escape. She had way to much pride to break down in front of everyone at the penny.

_"Gail-_"She had already walked out the door and back into the snow.

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><p><em><strong>The next day...<strong>_

Gail woke up with no killer hangover with a matching headache for the first time in weeks. She was fine physically. Emotionally she was dying on the inside. Her heart was broken by a girl who dissected dead bodies for fun and who had a collector's edition of star trek on DVD. She was down, she was downer than down. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, her world was crumbling from under her feet; at least that is what it felt like. The blonde quickly got up and got dressed for work so she wouldn't make anyone else late for parade.

She was working with Traci on a case today. The last person she wanted to be partnered with. Traci would ask her millions of questions or give her the best motherly speech on what Gail was doing wrong, which made her feel consumed with guilt every time. But she loved Traci none the less, she was her closest friend.

Traci waited till they were in a squad car to let the twenty questions begin.

_"So what happened between you and holly last night?" 'She gets straight to the point_' Gail thought as she shifted uncomfortably in the chair so she could stare out the window, mostly to hide her tears in case she started crying.

_"Traci "_Gail replied with warning signs plastered all over wasn't enough Gail thought about it all night now she had to get the third degree from her friends to.

_"You waited too long I told you—"_

_"Traci please, I don't wanna hear it okay, there's not anything in the world you can say to me right now that I already haven't told myself, so can you please just focus on the road"_

_"I know it sucks but you'll get her back_" Traci patted Gail's thigh sympathetically letting her know everything would be okay.

_"I know"_ she whispered to herself looking out onto the streets of Toronto.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>


	4. Words That Will Be Written On My Stone

_**I don't know if this chapter is any good but here it is anyway….**_

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><p>…<p>

The next few days passed with the blink of eye. The blonde went out to the penny once with the guys but only had a drink or two. Everyone could see something was up with Gail, but only a few knew what the cause of the blondes' sudden change in demeanor. All she did was sit there and sip on her vodka tonic and stare into space while thoughts of holly consumed her brain. The other days she opted out of going to the penny and instead went home after shifts and played video games or went to sleep. When she couldn't sleep she thought about holly and how she was going to win her back. She knew that she had to make the first move and it had to be something spectacular something holly would never be able to ignore. The blonde was sure she had to; no she needed to win holly back, for the sake of mankind. If there was one thing Gail was completely unsure on it was how to do all of these things. She never had to work for someone before; all of the guys she had dated always did things for her, they made it way to easy.

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><p><em>"Peck, can you take this to the lab for me" 'oh no'<em>

_"Can't McNally do it?"_ she said _"I'm kind of busy"_ gesturing to line of people who she still needed to take statements from.

_"No, but McNally can drop you off on her way back to the station"_

_"So why can't she take it to the lab then?"_

_"Just because I asked in a question form didn't mean it was up for discussion" _the detective said as he walked over and took Gail's notepad out of her hands.

_"But-"_Gail began pleading. _'Fuck'_ she sighed in defeat there was no point in fighting her because that would be a battle she was definitely going to lose. Going to the lab was the first last thing she wanted to do; riding with McNally was definitely the third nick was a close second.

_'God I'm begging you please give me strength to not shoot McNally in the face'_ she prayed as she headed towards the car with a waiting Andy in the driving seat.

_"So Gail what's been going on with you lately?"_

_"What do you mean_" she knew exactly what she meant. Gail's snarky comments have gotten a lot less snarkier. She was the equivalent to a cute puppy that lies on his back waiting to be scratched on its tummy. She was completely vulnerable for the first time in her life. She had one person to thank for that.

_"I mean, you just seem so ... Different"_

_"I'm still the same, I hate you, see just like old times"_ She replied flatly. She didn't have the strength or the mind capacity to come up with something that would send Andy running with her tail between her legs.

_"Gail were friends remember I know you, something's up"_

_"Let me get one thing straight, we are not friends, we stopped being friends when you started sleeping with nick, so shut up and drive McNally"_

_"Gail, I am sorry about the whole nick thing it was poor judgment on my part, and it was all for nothing anyway because I realized that I'm not completely over Sam yet, and I hate that I sacrificed our friendship over a stupid I am really terrible sorry for hurting you. So can you just cut the bitch routine for a sec and tell me what's bothering you."_ Truth is she was already way over the whole nick Andy situation, but she wasn't going to tell her that because Andy would keep asking her what was wrong and it was the last thing she wanted to talk about with anyone.

Gail just turned on the radio hoping for some inspiration _'What can I do'_ she groaned in frustration _'Ugh why is this so hard'._ Gail recalled every conversation that ever took place between she and holly trying to figure out something Holly had mentioned that she liked until something finally clicked.

_"Can we stop here for a sec"_ Gail pointed to the store on the corner of the street.

_"Here?_" Andy asked questionably.

_"McNally just stop the damn car!"_

_"Why?"_

_"I have to do something real quick"_

* * *

><p>Gail walked down to the lab with the sample in one hand and a receipt that she quickly shoved in her jacket pocket in the other. She was thankful the lab technician was someone other than holly. As much as she thought about her she wasn't sure she was ready for what would be the aftermath of last week. <em>'Please don't look this way, please don't look this way'<em> Gail thought as she speed walked past holly's office glancing in only to see the brunette deep in some dead guys abdomen.

'_she's so cute when she focusing'_ She stood there for an hour waiting; staring through the glass window she figured out that she could sometimes see holly in her lab from certain angles. Every time holly would walk away she would search until she saw her again.

_"God she's so beautiful"_ Gail was in the corner of the lab kneeling on a box that was sitting on top of a chair.

_"Who's beautiful?" 'Oh shit'_ Gail jumped at the techs voice knocking over the box, spilling the papers that were inside and almost falling out of the chair.

_"No one_" She said quickly picking up the box and its contents off the floor and placed it back where it was.

_"Umm listen-_"she hesitantly said not remembering the officer's name.

_"Officer Peck"_

_"Yeah can you like sit down you're kind of freaking me out a little, you know anxiety and all"_

_"Oh yeah sure, no problem_" she replied as she searching for a place to sit seat as she wondered if holly would like her gifts.

* * *

><p><em>"Can you tell me where to find a umm."<em>The delivery man fumbled with the crumpled up paper. _"Doctor Stewart? Holly Stewart."_

_"That's me"_ Holly walked towards the man who said her name.

_"Oh well this is for you, can you sign here"_ She took the pen out of the guys hands and signed the paper.

_" you go_" he placed a large heavy basket in her hands.

_'Ewwhh. I take it your date went well the other night."_ Morgan asked as she walked over to take a peek inside holly's gift. Morgan and holly had been friends for 4 years now. They had met at a forensic conference one year and had automatically clicked. Whenever they were in the same city they would always have lunch together, so when holly moved to Toronto, Morgan was super excited.

_"No it was terrible"_ needless to say she would never see Chelsea again. After leaving with her holly was a complete emotional wreck. Chelsea decided to leave and go home. She couldn't blame her though after all she was crying over another girl.

_"Then who's this from?"_ Holly picked up the card that was placed inside and read the name that was written in ink.

_"Gail"_

_"Gail?"_ Morgan asked surprised._ "As in Gail Peck, the bitchy blonde girl who stole your heart and took a steam roller to it?"_

_"Yep, that would be the one"_

_"Oooooh, you're the beautiful girl_" she smiled putting two and two together.

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"Nothing, enjoy your gift"_ she took a piece out and ate it _"umm, this is delicious holly, she's definitely a keeper,"_ Holly began to chuckle _"as long as she keeps sending these"_

_"yeah,yeah she is"_ holly whispered to herself while taking the objects that were placed in the middle out of the was two teddy bears. One dressed as a doctor and the other as a police officer holding a heart that read _'I'm sorry'._ To top it off there were chocolate covered fruit surrounding the bears with holly's favorite among them, chocolate covered strawberries.

After the next day holly walked out of the morgue only to find her car's hood covered with snicker minis and red Hershey Kisses that spelled out _"I'll do anything!'._ And the day after that, holly received another basket filled with limited edition star trek action figures that were laying on top of hollies, and a handwritten request.

_'Meet me at the boardwalk tonight at 8, don't make me beg)'= -Gail'_

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><p><strong><em>I'm Totally SIKED rookie blue gets 22 episodes instead of 13 how awesome is <em>**


	5. Dear No One,This Is Your Love Song

"_**Oops, I guess it's been a while"-Scary Movie**_

"_**Would you do me? I would do me! I would do me so hard?"-Chris Griffin, Family Guy**_

_**Lol I'm really bored**_

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><p>Holly got out of her car and started walking towards the was only a few people there because it was the middle of winter and she could feel it. 'Only Gail would think of a getting together at the beach in the middle of winter' her teeth were clanging together and she's only been outside for all of 30 seconds. Although she was freezing she would completely agree that it looks magical at this time of day. The sun sets over the horizon illuminating the frozen water the boardwalk stores would be closed for the winter and soon the dark skies would come along with the stars.<p>

Holly took a seat on the bench overlooking the water and waited for Gail._ 'where is she?'_ Holly took at her phone checking it every thirty seconds for a sign from Gail. '_Maybe she got stuck at work'_

She waited there for an hour. Her ass was sticking to the seat by the time she decided to get up and leave. The brunette walked to her car and closed the door. She turned on the heater before she pulled out her phone and called Gail's cell. 'Come on, pick up Gail' it went straight to voice-mail. She tried the number over and over.

_"Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice message system the number you are trying to reach is not available. At the tone, please record your message."_

_**Beep!**_

_"Hey Gail I was just-"_

_"Voice-mail full" 'shit'_

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><p><strong><em>Three hours before…..<em>**

_"Peck, Epstein"_

_"Yeah_"Gail and Dov reply in unison. "_Jinx, you owe me a soda"_ he whispers under his breath. Gail shoves him into the desk and begins to giggle as he nursed his injury.

_"You're needed in the briefing room"_ _'please not today, I don't want to leave'_ Gail thought as she groans in pre-frustration at what she knows is about to come next.

_"Come on"_ dov murmurs as he pulls on the arm of a motionless Gail. _"Maybe it's not what you think, I'm praying it's not what you think"_ he says as he closes the door locking himself, Gail, Traci, and Frank in the briefing room.

_"Peck,Epstein"_Frank looks at both of them as he says their name making sure they are indeed paying attention to him_" a very high profile drug cartel has been shipping drugs from their base in Honduras up to El Paso and through New Mexico._" He flips through the next slide as Gail starts to cringe. "_The drugs they are sending have been linked to 180 deaths in the United States and have found their way to the streets of Toronto. We finally got a guy inside who has a good reputation so he can recruit new members and that's where you guys come in. you have been selected for this operation. Your mission is to infiltrate the gang based in New Mexico and find out their supplier's names and if possible exactly how they get the shipments across the border. Once you get the names you will call us and wait for further instructions. Most likely guns and gangs will want you to stay on so they could intercept at least one shipment of drug."_

"How long will this take? I can't be gone from Chloe that long; she's still not up yet!" Dov cries out. Gail could see the hurt in his voice and the tears that were at bay threatening to flood his face.

_"About six to eight months. But if you manage to gain their trust maybe we could get this done in four and get a shipment in about five_" Gail rubs Dov's back in comfort as he begins to cry. But it wasn't a manly cry where the guy pretends to be strong so he wouldn't be was full force cry, the real kind, the painful aching heart on your sleeve kind. She felt for the guy she wanted to cry to but she was not like dov, she couldn't cry in front of everyone like he could, she was afraid of what others would think of her. Her mom use to tell her crying was a sign of weakness and so she worked effortlessly not to show it.

_"I'm really sorry you guys but this needs to be done"_

_"I have to see Chloe, you know just in case she-"_he couldn't even finish his sentence before the tears he was choking back resurfaced.

_"That's the other thing, you have to leave in the now so you can make your flight to Phoenix, Arizona and you will drive into Albuquerque. The gang will be expecting you tomorrow morning"_

_"So that's it we have to leave without saying goodbye"_ all Gail could picture was holly and then the plans she had made came into the frame. _'oh shit what am I gonna do about holly?'_ she thought as everything faded into the background she heard screaming and jumbled up speech that she wasn't able to listen to because she was deep in thought._ 'She going to move on, she's not goanna wait, of course she's not gonna wait, why would she? We're not a couple I fucked that up all by my lonesome_' she looked up just in time to see dov storming out of the room. Traci was gathering the manilaa folders on the table, Gail could tell she was worried; of course she was worried it could have easily been her who was chosen for the assignment.

_"Hey Traci"_ Gail smiled as Traci's frown grew more depressing.

_"Look Gail I'm really sorry but you're going to be okay alright because I know you and-"_

_"Yeah, yeah I'll be fine"_ Gail cut in to her what was sure to be long speech _"but that's not what I'm worried about, I need a favor"_

_"Sure, what do you need?"_

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><p><em>"Hey holly"<em>

_"Hey, Chris right"_

_"yep that's me"_ he confirmed. He had known holly from the lab and what Gail confessed to him on her drunken and sometimes sober ramblings.

_"Umm, is Gail here she didn't show for our um-_"she didn't know how much Gail had told Chris and she didn't want to be the one outing her.

_"Uh yeah your date that was tonight wasn't it"_ he asked shifting uncomfortably

_"Is she alright?_"She panicked after reading Chris's body language; it was a mix of fear and uncertainty. She knew Gail would never blow her off after she worked so hard to get her back so something must be wrong.

_"Yeah, yeah she fine but it's just that she-"_

_"She what Chris?"_ She could see him withdrawing from their conversation and automatically feared the worst.

_"I'm sorry to tell you this holly but Gail is gone"_

_"What do you mean gone?"_

_"She got pulled into this undercover assignment with dov"_

_"For how long?"_

_"Traci said about six months minimum"_

_"Oh"_

_"Holly she'll be okay she's a trooper she'll come home I promise"_ Chris stepped out of the apartment and hugged holly as she tried not to cry.

_"I know"_ she whispered into Chris's chest. She really did know, Gail's stubborn but she's got good instincts and she knows how to stay out of trouble, the last thing holly wanted for for Gail to be hurt in god knows where.

Chris pulled back from their embraced as his eyes fell on holly.

_"What is that?_" he pointed to the plastic wrapped object in her hand.

_"It's stupid"_ she said looking at the basket filled with cheese puffs and other cavity causing goodies and a bottle of barbecue sauce. _"It's just that Gail's been sending me all my favorite things so I thought I would return the favor"_

She extended her arm that contained the basket out to Chris

_"No holly I can't-I can't take that"_ he said as he backed into his apartment

_"well I'm not exactly a fan of Gail's eating habits and it'll a shame to let all this good food go to waist, so you can have it,really"_she said stuffing the basket into Chris's arm.

_"Are you sure"_

_"Positive, I can't lose this physique"_ Chris chuckles at holly's comment. She turns and begins to walk back the way she came.

_"Holly_" he says as he places the basket down on the floor and running after a fleeing brunette _'I know we are perfectly good strangers but Gail, she really cares about you and if Gail cares about someone, which is rare I might add, then so do I. And if you ever need someone to talk to or someone to go get a drink with I'm here if you need me, were all here"_

_"Thanks I really appreciate it" 'Gail takes her friends for granted'_ she thought as she got into her car and drove off into the night.

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><p><em>"Hey holly<em>" holly looked up from her microscope at the abrupt entrance of detective Nash.

_"Hi Traci_" holly put on her best fake smile for the detective which is stupid given her profession. She'd been worried up all night thinking about Gail and how dangerous her undercover assignment really could be and all the worst case scenarios that came with it.

_"Look I'm really sorry that you had to hear about Gail leaving through Chris especially since I was the one who was supposed to break the news but I got really caught up with details on the case and – I'm sure you don't care but I might have something that might interest you._" Traci pulled a crumpled up piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Holly. The brunette stuffed the paper into her lab coat pocket and picked up some samples and proceeded to walked to the other side of the room with Traci hot on her heels.

_"What does it say?_" Traci asked peaking over holly's shoulder trying to get a glimpse of the letter.

_"I don't know? I don't have x ray vision Traci"_

_"Aren't you going to read it?" 'Not with you here'_ Holly just shrugged her off trying to keep her cool. Deep down inside she was dying to read the letter. The brunette knew who it was from, obviously and she was most scared of what was written inside and Holly was not one to become an emotional wreck in front of strangers.

Traci whipped out her phone and read the message that vibrated in her pocket. She said her goodbyes with a _"we should get together sometime"_ she exited the lab.

Holly waited till Traci was out of sight until she practically ripped out the paper from her lab coat pocket. She read it and re-read it and re-re-read it. The words that is almost never enough.

"_**I love you"**_

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><p><strong>Hey guys thanks for reading I don't know the holy land of fanfiction so I'm not sure if I'm supposed to message the people who review. People whose stories I review send me messages so thnx for that. And I really appreciate the reviews, seriously.<strong>

**Little soon to drop the L Word I know, I hear ya!**


	6. Sweater Weather

_**Raping the replay button on sweater weather cover by Alyson Stoner ft. Guy from nickelodeon they changed their sweaters like 20 times definitely my inspiration for this chapter.**_

_**Anyways thanks for reading.**_

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><p>Gail walks to the bench and sits next to holly. It was like the bar all over again, sweaty and nervous. But this time it was different. Gail was more confident in herself. The power of persuasion is on her side; at least she hopes it is. Holly just stares deeply into the lake not once taking her eyes from the blue water to acknowledge Gail's presence.<p>

_"It's beautiful this time of night isn't it"_ Gail was met with silence. Obviously holly wasn't going to make this easy so she decided to continue on. _"My family use to come here every summer until I was 10,this was practically my second home." _Gail chuckles at the memory. _"But my mom became too busy with her work and didn't have time to take us anymore. My dad would say he was busy too because he couldn't stand the beach, to many tourist. When I was 11, Steve and I would take the bus out here and we would stay to watch the sunset and sneak back in when the boardwalk closed. Mom would always complain about how much danger two kids walking the streets could be in and how we shouldn't be out so late surprised that she could care let alone notice us. Steve and I didn't really care what she had to say about it though. It was our place to escape, our place for redemption. I use to run here when I was a teenager after I fought with my mom and Steve would come after would beat me here sometimes and we would stay all night like when we were kids and he would drive us back home and the world would seem a tiny bit better."_

'_Nothing' _holly just sat there in the same position she was in since Gail had arrived. Gail thought about checking holly's pulse to make sure she was still alive. It was really cold outside after all, maybe the brunette was in hypothermic shock. Gail shrugged 'no that's definitely not it she just blinked'. She thought about all the reasons why holly wouldn't be talking to her _"because she hates your guts you idiot"_she hoped and prayed that the gifts she had sent would be enough to show holly that she cared and was trying to make the world a tiny bit better.

_"Holly I just want to say-"_

_"You don't have to say anything Gail I got it along with all the chocolates and action figures."_ Gail smiled an invisible smile and let out a puff of white smoke. _'Thank god, this floor is disgusting'_

_"Thanks to you I had to buy new pants with elastic waist bands" holly joked._

_"There's more where that came from"_ the blonde said giggling._ 'I never giggle, why am I giggling?!"_

_"Oh please don't, I don't think my body can handle anymore. It's going to take me forever to work off all the weight I gained."_ Holly's teeth begin to chatter uncontrollably. The blonde frowns as she begins to wonder if maybe she should have chosen a different place to allow holly to see a part of her.

_"Here take my sweater"_ Gail states as she gets up.

_"No I'm fine really"_

_"I'm sorry it's so cold outside I forgot others don't really accept going skinny dipping in lakes mid-winter as the social norm."_ Gail begins to take off her sweaters. Yanking her caught arm out of the sleeve.

_"I figured you'd be out here freezing your chapps off so I brought extra sweaters just for you."_

She takes the two sweaters off and hands them to holly, not quite sure if she's allowed to touch her just yet. She didn't want to push the brunette to takes them graciously and puts them on her ice cold body.

And then came the awkward silence between them. There were so many things to say and neither of them knew exactly what needed to be said let alone how to say sat there shuffling on the bench while holly was solid like an icicle. Just when Gail felt like all hope was lost holly removes her hand from her own sweater and places it inside Gail's pocket and latches onto her hand.

_"Were okay seriously but with a few exceptions"_ Holly turns to Gail for the first time. The blondes heart thumps uncontrollably as she feels her blood pressure rising.

_"You name it and I'll do it I swear I want nothing more than to be with you. I realized that actually when I was without you, which was my fault of course because I ruin everything good in my life, but holly I want you, just you, only you. And I will walk from here to New México and back just to prove it to you, and you know how much I hate any form of exercise and the cheese puff Olympics doesn't count. Look I can't promise you that I won't run up the tree ever because I will eventually but as long as you're here with some tuna I will come back down, because the worst tragedy in the world right now to me is not being able to hug you, and kiss you, and tell you I love you every day and I can't do that anymore, I just can't."_ Gail looks into her holly's eyes again before exhaling deeply _"I can't"_

Holly squeezes her hand gently_ "you're always think about food aren't you"_

_"Is that the only thing you got out of that"_ Gail wonders as she stares down at holly's hand wrapped in hers. The blonde feels the warmest hands on earth touching her face. And pull it gently towards hers.

_"You want to go get something to eat?"_ Holly laughed knowing Gail's mention of food meant that the answer was a definite yes.

_"Yeah I'm starving"_

_"Me to"_ Holly kissed Gail and trotted off towards the car leaving Gail sitting blankly staring into the distance.

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><p><em>"We are now beginning our descent into Phoenix, Arizona, if everyone could please return your chair into the upright position..."<em>Gail hears awaking from her peaceful dream.

_"Better start walking"_ the blonde mutters under her breath.

_"What?"_Dov yawns.

_"Nothing, I'm just glad with flight is over, you know jet leg and all that."_ Gail loosens her seatbelt and starts to stretch.

_"Mam can you return your seat into the upright position?" The_ flight attendant said gesturing to the seat that is leaning all the way back.

_"Can I shove my foot up your ass?"_ She mumbles as she continues to stretch out making full use of her laid back seat.

_"Mam I'm-"_

_"Fine their"_ Gail cuts in as she readjust her seat "you proud of yourself, go way"

_"Wow someone's feeling grumpy with a touch of bitch"_Dov goofs off. Gail smiles at Dov even though she really wanted to slug him in the she knows he needs as much friendly support and cheeriness as possible.

_"Whatever let just get this drive over with"_ Gail says as she looks out the window into the valley of the sun.

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><p><strong>3 minutes earlier across the country<strong>

Holly was thrashing out of her sleep for the first time for what is believed to be many more to come. Gail has been the only thing she can think of since she talked to Chris earlier. She sighs and gets out of bed and heads into the kitchen. _"What the hell am I going to do?"_ she asks herself bracing against the kitchen counter. The brunette takes a very large sleeping pill and goes into her dark empty living room. She picks up the sweater lying on the arm of her been meaning to give it back but didn't have the courage to let go of it yet. It was the same sweater Gail wore the day holly took her home from the hospital after the shooting. The blonde had left it there by accident. Deep down inside the brunette had hoped Gail left it there so she would have an excuse to come back. Obviously that wasn't the case. She holds the sweater to her chest and decides to put it on and turns on the radio. She elects to lie on the couch instead of her gailless bed. Holly moves her body around until she finds a comfortable position. She closes her eyes and lets the pills kick in. "_You better start walking Gail Peck"_ she whispers as she drifts off to sleep to the sound of music.

_I look up at the stars_

_Hoping you're doing the same_

_And somehow I feel closer and I can hear you say_

_Oh, oh I miss you_

_Oh, oh I need you_

_I love you more than I did before_

_And if today I don't see your face_

_Nothing's changed, no one can take your place_

_It gets harder everyday_

_Say you love me more than you did before_

_And I'm sorry that it's this way_

_But I'm coming home, I'll be coming home_

_And if you ask me I will stay, Always stay_

_-Stay,Miley Cyrus_

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><p>Thanks for reading!For those who dont get it the first part is a dream<p> 


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